Here’s the thing. There are lots of things I want to talk about (like food shame and body shame, disordered eating and how blaming our parents doesn’t teach us any better and all sorts of other stuff *grin*), but I’ll start with this:
I am, however, exploring the idea of limits because we, as a society, and me, specifically, have gotten out of hand with the idea of instant gratification. It’s easier to grab some chips to munch while you watch tv, than it is to take a minute and listen to what your body’s really telling you. This is where the fun comes in, for me. Right now, I feel kind of like an explorer. See, I’ve spent *years* ignoring most of what my body had to tell me. So, the fact that I’m giving myself a chance to learn about and work *with* my body, instead of against it, is pretty interesting.
The cool thing, though, about not being on a diet is that I’m probably going to eat a piece of homemade blueberry cobbler when I get done here (fresh out of the oven, too!), and that’s not only ok, but it’s in line with my goals. Plus, it’s cobbler.
This is the biggest thing I want to avoid, and I have a feeling that as I explore this, it’ll be something I talk a lot about, but I don’t want to give myself a list of things that I cannot have. That’s ridiculous, because, and I don’t know about you, but that’ll become the only things I want IN THE WORLD, the moment I think I can’t have them. Plus, that one of the reasons I binge, I think. I build something up so much in my head that when I finally cave, I eat way too much. Then I end up with a torn up stomach and a bunch of shamey-guilt. Dumb.
So, instead, since I like to bake, and do quite a bit of it, I’m ok with having a cookie sometimes, or a piece of cobbler. The thing here is that we get defensive about it. “Oh, cobbler’s bad for you?! Well, I will do what I want!’ then we think eating half a cobbler’s the way to do that. Nah.
My era of being a defensive douchebag about my food is over. I’m aiming towards being able to really and truly enjoy my food, and I think that denial by diet is not the way to go about that.
Water: 8 cups! 😀
I did my walking(30 minutes of up and down the stairs…walking)-inside though. It’s snowing again. 😦
Pushups: 23! (When I can do 50 two days in a row, I’m going to try a full on pushup on my toes. )