Posted in Daily tally

Thursday, and why “Fat acceptance” isn’t.

So, I spent several years on the “Fat Acceptance” bandwagon.  On the surface, all I was trying to do was learn how to like me, but the idea of “fat” “acceptance” is flawed, and I’m going to go on a bit about why, since I’ve been thinking about this.

At a glance, the FA movement seems like a great idea. “We accept you no matter what your size is!” sounds awesome, right? But it’s not really true. Fat acceptance groups “accept you no matter what size you are (as long as that size is over size 12 and you work out every day. We don’t like you skinnies and lazy fatties around here.)!”  See, they yell about “Health at any size” and I’m all about that. Healthy isn’t a size, and you can’t gauge someone’s health on their shape alone.  But the FA movement doesn’t teach a broader kind of acceptance, or even really *self* acceptance (Which is the only one that really counts and I’ll get to that in a minute.), it’s more like a group of folks who gang up together to pick on anyone who wears the same t-shirt their old bully wore.

It’s kind of like this big group shouting at passersby, “LOVE ME!!! YOU HAVE TO LOVE ME!!! DAMMIT, LOVE ME!!”, which just misses the point altogether, and engenders a whole other kind of unhealthy behavior.

I believe that everyone is worthy of love, and that size, or health, or favorite color should be nowhere in the mix.  But this goes back to the idea that I believe everyone is worth their own love.  It’s easy to say “Love yourself”, but I get it, it’s a lot more difficult than those words say. (Also, I want to note, offtopic, that I spent 3 days around my brother 3 months ago, and all I took away from it was the phrase, “I get it..” Bah. :p )  But it’s called a truism because it’s *gasp* true.  You have to learn to love yourself.  Once you do, really truly, you won’t be so worried about “acceptance”. And you won’t feel like you need to put another group of people down to make yourself feel better.

The other thing is this: Loving and accepting yourself is NOT the same as thinking of yourself as perfect.  That’s ridiculous.  We’re designed to want to learn and grow and be the best we can be.  Our own self-loathing gets in the way of that, and groups like some FA groups prey on that hatred, and teach people to aim it outward, when they’d better serve humanity by teaching people to turn it to love, or at least like.

Then no one would have to go around screaming for acceptance, because they’d already have the most important and healthy type of acceptance-their own.

~T

Dailies:

My Food Diary

Water: 10th glass atm, so 80 oz.

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Author:

Artist and owner of Bramblefae Boutique. I design whimsical jewelry, I like good writing and good games.

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