Yesterday I spent the day at the flea market in Shipshewana, Indiana. Five hours of walking and good times with my girls (and a gent). I bought some cute things, including a super cute summer shirt that just makes me feel cute. 🙂
We got off to a rough start though, and I will lay it out here.
We hadn’t been there very long-15 or 20 minutes, and we were in a booth that was selling these ridiculous scrunched up shirts that stretch into something that looks more like a shirt, more or less.
Anyway, we were looking at these, more out of sheer curiosity than anything else, when the owner (a short, round and slightly dirty old woman) shouts at us “None of those will fit you!!”
My girl and I turned to look at her and she said, “They only stretch so much!” and I said (because I’m still kind of incredulous at this point), “Gods forbid we would want to buy one of these for someone else.” To which she replied, “You’re not buying anything!” and I said, “well not now, certainly.” and left.
As I was walking away, I also see every person who was in her booth, looking at her stuff, put down what they were looking at and leave also.
I heard her say one more thing, and apparently she gestured at me as she said it, possibly in defense of herself to keep people from leaving her stall.
It was, “Well look at her!!”
It had been a long time since I felt that kind of humiliation about my weight. I will admit that I walked away without more sass because I wasn’t 100% sure I wouldn’t cry and I wasn’t about to let that miserable old bat see that. And thankfully, I was with a group of supportive, awesome folks.
Self esteem is a damn fragile thing, sometimes. Typing all that out has made me sick to my stomach again, but here’s why I am sharing this, when what I’d rather do is hide it away where no one will ever know my shame (Ok, that was a little melodramatic, but you get me.):
Sometimes in our lives, we will encounter people who just suck. Who, for whatever reason, are just hateful, miserable people with no kindness or empathy whatsoever. They’re not going to care that your cat just ran away, or that you just lost 25 pounds, or that you just got fired. They’re only going to be concerned with whatever imagined issue they have with you, and they’re going to be hateful, and mean, and awful. Because that’s all they know.
This is EXACTLY why we CANNOT let these people determine how we feel about ourselves. We cannot. Because we are awesome in spite of the fact that sometimes people just suck.