Posted in Daily tally

Monday, and another busy week

So, Friday and Saturday I will be selling my wares at an event here in my town.  So, what that means is that my blogging this week will be iffy as I run around getting everything ready.

I’m still going back and forth from 355 to 360, and I can tell you exactly what the issue is (Not getting enough water, getting way too much bread. *grin*), and so that kinda pisses me off, but I think I’m getting a handle on things.

Today was the last day of the last class I’m taking for now, because I’m taking a break from school until the first of the year so that I can focus my time and money and energy on the Bramblefae projects, then after Christmas, hubby and I will revisit this situation and go from there.   This decision has been really stressful for me, because there has been just so much involved in the process, but I will tell you what-I know today that this is the right choice because everything else has fallen right into place today, including my eating.

For now, though, I’m off to finish counting inventory, and making a list of what little things I still need to make.

Have a good week, and don’t freak out if I’m not around till Sunday.  If I have something I really *need* to say, I’ll post, but otherwise, fair readers, you’ll be on your own till then.  You are awesome. We are awesome. 🙂

Posted in Random stuff

Sunday, and how hate and shame are dumb.

I read this article yesterday, and on the one hand, I want to say, “Well, no shit.”, but then I remember that there are well meaning people who honestly believe that they have the right to tear down another human being in the name of “For their own good.”

I want to say, before I get started here, that I am not talking about medical professionals (although, it needs to be said, maybe, that there are ways to tell a patient that they need to make changes for their health without making it a shameful thing.), but instead I am talking about the people in our lives (Most of them well meaning, but not all) who insist that they have the right to say hurtful and shitty things to us in the name of “For your own good.”.

This is the first time since I started writing here that I am heavily weighing (Heh, look-a pun!) how to say what I want to say because I worry about offending people in my life who may or may not read this, so, here goes. 🙂

I believe that while we are certainly shaped by the way we are raised, we are predominantly responsible, individually, for what we do with our upbringing as adults.  This will account for how people raised in the same environments can become adults with vastly different outlooks and life experiences.

That said, though, I also believe that if you are told something, or shown something often enough, it will become true for you. Which, I think, is part of why I am here, and struggling so hard sometimes with the work of overriding 20+ years of habits, both physical and mental.

There are a couple of sentences that make me flinch internally, even today, at 41 years old.  One of them is, “…but you have such a pretty face…”. Another one is any variation of “I just worry about your health.”.  I know that people mean well, but in my experience that sentence comes either immediately before or after a truly offensive and hurtful piece of someone’s mind.  And the phrase “I just worry about your health.” is supposed to make it not only ok, but you’re supposed to feel bad that your fatness put them in the position of having to say something in the first place.

So often in families, “playful ribbing” about someone’s weight is supposed to be motivational and acceptable. “If you don’t like it, lose some weight.” not only isn’t helpful, it’s stupid.

“Boys/girls don’t like fat girls/boys.” is not going to encourage your child to “get skinny”, it’s going to convince them that they’re not worthy of the love of another human being.

Look, the fact that this study had to be done, that this isn’t a “No shit, Sherlock” moment of blatant common sense just means that we have a lot of work with regards to making sure we raise our children to be healthy, active and moderate in their habits, so they don’t grow up  in an era where there have to be studies done to prove that being mean and hateful is the wrong course of action.

And if you’re really worried about someone’s health (and if their health is any of your business at all), take them to, or talk to them about seeing a doctor. After all, if you thought someone might have asthma, you wouldn’t stand around telling them how no one will date a wheezer, you get them to a doctor.

Posted in Random stuff

Thursday-Already?!

I know on Tuesday, I thought it was going to be a long week, and I’ll day today I’ve been like, “Wow, tomorrow’s Friday?” I’m going to be like this till kiddo starts school again, I think.

I’ve been thinking today about one’s support network, and how hard pretty much any of the things I’m trying to do in my life (health-wise, creative-wise, everything) would be to accomplish if I did not have the wonderful fella I’m married to.

I’ve come to the conclusion today that while I am very happy and grateful to have him as one of my cheerleaders, and while knowing that he supports me in pretty much whatever I do, that I don’t *need* it is much as I did once.

I’ve noticed this because I think this has really kind of freed up our relationship so that it’s much less about clingy need and much more about being cool with each other…about being true partners in life.

I think it’s natural maybe for a person to fee like they’re emotionally on their own once in a while.  I also think that being ok with that kind of temporary emotional solitude is what will help me and folks like me succeed in the long run.

Learning that while approval is wonderful, it’s not something we *need* to succeed….that’s pretty fancy, and I think leads to healthier, more robust relationships because we then don’t have to worry about anything but love.

I’m telling you, it keeps coming back to love. 😀 Once we love ourselves, the other loves in our lives become richer and more complex, I think.

 

(As an aside, this isn’t at all the post I started out to write. At all. *snicker*  Have a good night, all!)

Posted in Daily tally

Tuesday and this may be a long week!

I only say that this week may be long because I am at the point in the summer where I’m having a hard time keeping track of what day it is. That’s just one of the ways this blog is helpful to me! 😀

I have found that when I sleep in (As I do sometimes in the summer! :D), that those are the days I find myself at 6 pm, 400 calories under my minimum.  Which is where I am today.  I am pretty sure I won’t get all 400 in today, but I will bake a sweet potato and maybe butter it in an hour or so, and tomorrow, I will be more mindful of what I’m eating.

The thing about summer is with all the fresh veggies available to me, I need to remember to throw some chicken breast, or avocado or quinoa or something in with all the veggies. 🙂

I’ve been dragging ass all afternoon…I bet the low calories are why. Huh.

Anyway, it’s another short post, and tomorrow’s Wordless Wednesday post will probably be up early, because I’m picking tomorrow to be away from the electronics and spend it moving my body, meditating, and maybe getting a tan. :p

Have a great night everyone!

Posted in Daily tally

It’s Monday!

So, I have been hovering around the 355-357 lb. area for three weeks.  I get frustrated, but it’s frustration at myself because I do this to myself.  Here are the causes of this hovering: 1) I got lazy with keeping track of my food.  I worry about being obsessed, but to be honest, and I’ve shown this over the last month, I need to keep track because I am still figuring out what my body needs at any given time. And 2) I have be SUCKING at drinking enough water.

So, this week’s goals are this:

1) write down everything I eat over at Sparkpeople.  The link to my profile page is on the left here, I am not sure what it actually shows-hopefully everything. 🙂

2)Drink 3-32 oz glasses of water a day. At least. Schedule that shit if I have to. *grin*

3)Do week two of this squat challenge. 🙂

4) Take a day away from electronics because sometimes I feel like my life is being run by the gadgets in my life.

Lastly, this is finals week for me so it’ll be very whirlwindish. It’ll be good to have a break after. 😀

Have a good night everyone and be awesome. 😀

Posted in Random stuff

Sunday evening-always learn.

This is going to be a fairly short post-I am whooped. 🙂 We spent yesterday on the road, and then celebrating at a family wedding, then on the road again to get home last night.

I wanted to say, though, that I am constantly learning as I work my way through these changes.  This weekend I learned that I need to take extra water with me on long car rides.  My eating was great yesterday, and I did a good bit of walking, but I didn’t drink *nearly* enough water.

I feel like I’m playing catch up today, in fact. 😀

I like, honestly, that I’m still learning so much, so often.  That’s one of the things that keeps me going, sometimes. 🙂