If I were to have a progressive rock band, I would totally name them Emotional Weirdness. That aside, it’s been an interesting weekend. On the 4th, I ate well, and felt awesome. Then things got weird. Not weird, really, but I’ve spent the weekend on an odd emotional rollercoaster, and my eating has really reflected that.
Hubby and I went out with some friends last night to listen to a band. I love live music so I was pretty excited. Then I got dressed and literally had a small meltdown after looking in the full length mirror. I have an incisional hernia (I think I’ve mentioned this before), and it makes me shaped very funny in the abdominal area-it makes me look either really pregnant, or-to my mind-really mutant shaped.
I keep putting off having it repaired because <Insert one of 1,468 excuses here>, and yesterday was apparently the “I have got to do something about this.” point. I nearly didn’t go because the cute outfit I had on showcased that weird bump.
I went to my hubby, who will not lie to me or sugar coat, and said, “Do I look awful? I feel like I’m wearing sausage casing.” and his response was basically, “I think you look fine, but if you don’t feel awesome in it, go change.” So, that’s what I did, after I sat on my bed and cried for a few minutes.
I’m glad I changed, because I was able to go and have an amazing time, without constantly worrying that I looked like “Two pigs wrestling under a blanket” (bonus points if you know what movie that’s from! 🙂 ), but today I feel like I’m in some kind of limbo, and I will be working through that this week.
It boils down to the fact that it has become time for me to suck it up and go see a doctor, so that I can continue on this quest for health. Which means for you, dear readers, you will likely see posts about why fat women don’t go to the doctor, and all sorts of shit like that.