So, the Day of Scale was fine. No change in weight at all, but 1) It’s ick week, and 2) I feel amazing. I feel like I’m on the right track. I feel like I’m not bullshitting myself. and 3) I updated my Facebook photo, and within 20 minutes had two completely separate and unrelated people tell me how hot I am (basically. *grin*)!!
So, 35 pounds since I started keeping track. It’s been that way a good part of the summer. You know what, though? That’s ok. Because I’m making progress on this whole self health thing EVERY DAY. I forget that, sometimes, but it’s true.
It’s so so easy to get caught up in that number, but it’s only one of the things I’m measuring. Let’s talk about how I can walk up my front steps normally, rather than “Step-up with one foot, then bring the other foot to that same step” like a 90 year old man. Let’s talk about how out of breath I don’t get walking up the stairs to our library. Let’s talk about my libido (Ok, let’s don’t, let’s just say that’s AWESOME!).
Let’s talk about how the idea of eating at McDonald’s makes my stomach heave a little. Let’s talk about how much I’m learning about what my body needs, as well as what it wants, and why it wants what it does.
I thought I knew back in March that this was going to be tough, and take a long time. The only really tough part, though (aside from overriding some deep seeded habits) *is* the realization that there really is not some magic pill that will let me wake up tomorrow in perfect health. I think, maybe, that there’s a little bit of mourning that idea, or rather, a letting go of that idea, as we work our way through the reality-a reality that’s really a better way to go anyway, because it’s so necessary to know one’s own body, and it’s so easy to ignore it.
Until it fails us when we need it.
So, I feel *really* good about where I am and where I’m headed. It may not be as fast as some people, it may not be as flashy, but it’s working for me. 😀