Mostly Wordless Wednesday

amazing-pumpkin-carvingI will not be posting tomorrow night, but I will post, instead, sometime on Friday. 😀 Have a great Halloween/Samhain/Whathaveyou



This doesn’t have a set ending, you know. :)

Instead of a real post from me tonight, I am going to leave this post here, from “This is not a diet, it’s my life”.  I read her blog sporadically, but I follow her on Facebook, and she’s got some interesting things to say.

This post however, is something I will need to keep in a place I can return to, to reread whenever I forget that the doing is far more important than the being “done”.

Have a good night, folks. I’m off to finish processing pumpkins. 😀

The Day of Scale and the Power of Just Doing Something

Of course I showed a gain on the scale-I ate like ass, and didn’t drink enough water. But I knew that, so today’s been proactive. Before I could start beating myself up, I gave myself a stern talking to about follow-through and how I know what I need to do to reach my goals, then I went to work. *shrug*

And it’s so dumb to me, afterward, because this evening, now that I’ve gotten enough water in my system, and I’ve spent the day both mentally active and physically busy, and I’ve eaten decently, I feel so much better.

It’s like I don’t notice that I feel shitty, until I don’t anymore, then I’m all “Why the hell do I do this to myself?!”

I really do think that this blog is amazing for me, because, without this accountability, I sometimes feel like I’d have long since stopped trying.

I feel like I do a lot of “Why do I do this to myself”, and coming here most days really does keep me both honest and involved with the process.

That’s what’s worked for me today-to keep me both motivated and positive-thinking about blogging and keeping busy (cleaning, inventory-ing and finishing up a few jewelry pieces I’d had unfinished. 🙂 ).

Today has been good, tomorrow will be better. I think I’m gonna try to think that way for a bit. 🙂

Old habits in weird places.

One of the biggest issues I see that I still need to overcome (and this may be a big part of the slow going here), is that somewhere, at some point (and I can tell you exactly when, or rather, what era of my life but that would be an entire other blog post.), I bought into the idea that being on one’s period means one is exempt from responsibility. I spent the last half of the week eating like ass and not doing a whole lot of anything physical.


Now seriously, “shark week” is never a good time, but for thousands of years, women have had shit to do that doesn’t stop just because their uterus is spring cleaning.  And I do imagine that there are some women who are actually laid out by their body.  I’m not one of them.  And I am a little mad at myself this weekend that I bought into that for so long that it’s automatic for me to just say, “Fuck it, I’m laying down.” for three days. Boo.

So.  This week’s goals are to rearrange my living room, or rather, find places for some of my craft show stuff that is occupying the “kinect” corner of my room, because I miss that, and because I want a work out option in case I really don’t want to walk in a cold downpour or something. 😀  One of my goals is also to clean my house. 🙂  Oh and to process the pumpkins in my kitchen.  Hello, pumpkin soup. And pumpkin bread. And pumpkin pie. And…well, yeah. *grin*

Sometimes just leaving the house is an adventure

This is in reference to yesterday’s Wordless post (and that was a repeat, I’m pretty sure).  Sometimes the most difficult thing I do in a day is walk out my front door.

I’m going to tell you a secret.  I talk an awful lot about change, and how necessary it is sometimes, but change scares me to death. It’s easily the hardest part of this journey.  It’s so comfortable to keep old habits-we know those habits, they know us.

I’ve been sick the last couple days (No big, just seasonal bullcrap), and I didn’t walk yesterday or today. But I found myself so antsy earlier today that I did 15 minutes of arms, and that made me feel better in the brain.

This is a small, little post, but I really just wanted to remind myself that adventures are fun, that’s why we go on them. 🙂

Have a great weekend, folks, I’ll be back on Sunday night. 😀

Why it’s not Maria Kang’s fault you hate yourself. :p

This is a continuation, sort of, of last week’s post about “size positivity” and why it’s kind of bullshit. This post will get more into discrimination and over sensitivity-

To say that “fat-shaming” doesn’t happen would be a lie. It does, I’ve been there, and I’ve blogged about it.  But, and again, the Maria Kang thing is a great example of this, I believe that, for the most part, shame is something I can choose to feel, or not feel.  Now, I’m aware that this is kind of an oversimplification, or at least we humans want to qualify and complicate everything. 🙂

One of the certainties of life, sadly, is that some people are assholes. Some people don’t filter what comes out of their mouth, and some people will look for assy things to say to people. Some people think it’s their duty to say nasty things to strangers and some people think it’s “for your own good.”  These people are a part of everyone’s life.  That’s why it’s up to US as individuals to decide how we feel about any given thing.  It doesn’t make these people less assholish.  It just doesn’t give them any power over us, either.  I don’t think Maria Kang fits into any of these types.  I think she thought she was being motivational (and *I* find things like that to be relatively motivational for more aspects than health and fitness.), and I think the people choosing to feel butthurt (and I think, in this case, without a doubt, people are choosing to feel some kind of way about it) are doing so, knowing that. I could get into phrases like “projecting their own self worth onto others”, but I won’t. 🙂

Another sad truth is that sometimes fat people are discriminated against.  Sometimes employers will hire a thin person over an identically qualified fat person for “reasons”. Sometimes the media likes to portray fat people as headless torsos specifically because it turns us away from who we are, individually, into what we are, or rather one facet of what we are.

Discrimination sucks, it does.  And that’s precisely why I think that the whole “fat acceptance” thing is doing the opposite of ridding the world of some discrimination.  I think it’s just trying to shift the target from them to anyone who 1) weighs less than 200 lbs and 2) obese people who aren’t active or trying to be healthy or fit.  Don’t get me started on the whole “Good fattie vs. Bad fattie” debate. (“Accept OUR fat, at least we’re not like THOSE lazy fatties! We’re motivated fatties!”) It pisses me off. :p

See, the thing is, I think, that all this carrying on would be avoided if everyone would just worry more about themselves and less about other people.  If people would love themselves more, they wouldn’t need so much approval from everyone else.  This is still something I work on. I still get judgy about people, and I still worry too much about what some people think.  But I really find that to be less and less the case as time goes on. I think that’s why I feel so passionately about these things.  I was once one of those people, and I wish I could tell them how much easier most things are if you like yourself enough to quit looking for people to blame your self loathing on.