Posted in Random stuff

Society is under no obligation to conform to you.

I read a blog post this week that I’d have never seen if I was not a fan of the author Diana Gabaldon and her Outlander series. The reason I’m talking about it here though, has nothing to do with that, except tangentially.

Basically, the post in question takes Ms. Gabaldon to task for not being “Size-positive” in her books. Then the rest of the post is roughly 1000 words of her misrepresenting characters in the book with what are obviously her own hang-ups about weight, and talking about how it’s the author’s responsibility to make sure the women she’s writing about are fat, sexy and getting laid every third page, while the slender side characters are begging for scraps.

While my synopsis is slightly more harsh than is strictly called for, this brings out an attitude that bothers me about the whole “size-positive” thing.

I think the idea of accepting that people of all shapes and sizes can be healthy is a wonderful thing.  And I think that we cannot judge someone’s health or life choices solely on their size (Whether or not we *should* is a discussion for another day. *grin*). I am a good example of this.

At 356 lbs, age 42-it would be easy for strangers to assume that I sit on my ass eating twinkies and watching Honey BooBoo or some bullshit.  I also know a couple folks who’re aren’t heavy, eat like shit and spend most of their time indoors on a computer.

I say that because I feel, all too often people throw phrases like “size positivity” around not because they want to be considered “equally”, but because they want what they perceive “skinny” people to have.

They want society to think that larger bodies are the aesthetic norm, because, to them, this will validate their existence, rather than just striving for a world in which no one gives a shit what size you are.

I know this, because I felt that way at one point.  I was pretty heavy into the fat acceptance movement at one point (and I think I’ve blogged about it a little) and to be honest, I think that time helped me figure out that I needed to accept me, rather than worrying about what the hell society thinks. 😉

The reaction to the Maria Kang photo meme, which I’m also not going to post here-she’s the woman who took a photo of her, looking amazingly fit, with her three toddlers, with the headline, “What’s Your Excuse?” is another version of this.  Every single person claiming that she’s a bully and a fat-shamer needs to simmer down.  My assumption is that it was more along the lines of “Hey, if *I* can look this fit with these three, so can you!” More inspiration, maybe?  I don’t know. My first response was, ” Because I didn’t want to spent three years continually pregnant!” but then I realized that wasn’t the point. *grin*

The point is this: It’s great if you think authors should focus on heavier heroines and their sexy sexpot-ness. Find authors or tv shows or movies that do that. Or make your own. Create more, bitch less. Be the change. That kinda thing.

I’m stopping here, but I have a second post in the works about how often this attitude leads into comparisons of “skinny”* =”white privilege”, and it’s easily going to be this long. These are pretty soapboxy issues for me. 🙂


*I have that word in quotations because it’s not one I use. I think it’s every bit as degrading as the word “fattie”.



Artist and owner of Bramblefae Boutique. I design whimsical jewelry, I like good writing and good games.

One thought on “Society is under no obligation to conform to you.

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