This is a continuation, sort of, of last week’s post about “size positivity” and why it’s kind of bullshit. This post will get more into discrimination and over sensitivity-
To say that “fat-shaming” doesn’t happen would be a lie. It does, I’ve been there, and I’ve blogged about it. But, and again, the Maria Kang thing is a great example of this, I believe that, for the most part, shame is something I can choose to feel, or not feel. Now, I’m aware that this is kind of an oversimplification, or at least we humans want to qualify and complicate everything. 🙂
One of the certainties of life, sadly, is that some people are assholes. Some people don’t filter what comes out of their mouth, and some people will look for assy things to say to people. Some people think it’s their duty to say nasty things to strangers and some people think it’s “for your own good.” These people are a part of everyone’s life. That’s why it’s up to US as individuals to decide how we feel about any given thing. It doesn’t make these people less assholish. It just doesn’t give them any power over us, either. I don’t think Maria Kang fits into any of these types. I think she thought she was being motivational (and *I* find things like that to be relatively motivational for more aspects than health and fitness.), and I think the people choosing to feel butthurt (and I think, in this case, without a doubt, people are choosing to feel some kind of way about it) are doing so, knowing that. I could get into phrases like “projecting their own self worth onto others”, but I won’t. 🙂
Another sad truth is that sometimes fat people are discriminated against. Sometimes employers will hire a thin person over an identically qualified fat person for “reasons”. Sometimes the media likes to portray fat people as headless torsos specifically because it turns us away from who we are, individually, into what we are, or rather one facet of what we are.
Discrimination sucks, it does. And that’s precisely why I think that the whole “fat acceptance” thing is doing the opposite of ridding the world of some discrimination. I think it’s just trying to shift the target from them to anyone who 1) weighs less than 200 lbs and 2) obese people who aren’t active or trying to be healthy or fit. Don’t get me started on the whole “Good fattie vs. Bad fattie” debate. (“Accept OUR fat, at least we’re not like THOSE lazy fatties! We’re motivated fatties!”) It pisses me off. :p
See, the thing is, I think, that all this carrying on would be avoided if everyone would just worry more about themselves and less about other people. If people would love themselves more, they wouldn’t need so much approval from everyone else. This is still something I work on. I still get judgy about people, and I still worry too much about what some people think. But I really find that to be less and less the case as time goes on. I think that’s why I feel so passionately about these things. I was once one of those people, and I wish I could tell them how much easier most things are if you like yourself enough to quit looking for people to blame your self loathing on.