Posted in Inspiration, Uncategorized

What happens when you’re snowed in

 

Out my front door on Sunday. :)
Out my front door on Sunday. 🙂

Whoa, snow.  I don’t know how it is elsewhere, but we got a crapton of snow, and then it became Siberia.

So, I figured today was as good a day as any to talk about what to do when you legitimately can’t get to your usual workout.  I’ve not gone on my walk for several days now-not so much because of the cold (I know how to layer, etc), but because of there being just so much snow, and even though I live right in town, the roads are still snow covered and I’m just the person who’d bust my ass in a pile of snow somewhere.

This was yesterday. Gorgeous, but COLD.
This was yesterday. Gorgeous, but COLD.

So, I am going to the ever handy stairs I have right in my house.  Improvising is kind of a must, I think, because situations change. You can’t always get to the gym, or whatever your normal workout routine is, but I know that I am all too quick to say, “Welp. No help for it, I guess today’s an unscheduled rest day.”  It’s something I’m working on, so I am assuming it’s something someone else is working on, too.

When I first started, back in March, I was still afraid of trying to walk a full mile.  I mean, I literally had to “recover” the day after going grocery shopping because just the act of walking around the grocery store made my back hurt and my ankles hurt.  So what I did was I would spend 20 minutes walking from my front door to my back door.  I have an old house, so it’s pretty much a straight shot, but it’s doable in any house or apartment. Pick a length and a duration and do that. Wear a backpack full of books if you want a challenge (I have 2.5 lb ankle weights that I’ll wear like bracers, myself. *grin*).

Seriously, and this is more for me than it is for any of you, there really is no reason you (or I), can’t work 15 minutes of walking up and down the stairs, or back and forth through the house, or get in some quick squats.

I don’t know how it is for you folks, but for me, “I can’t.” almost always really means, “I don’t want to try.” And I’m working hard this year to change that attitude.

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Posted in Uncategorized

This is why I do this

We, as people, don’t often like to talk about super personal things. Or when we do, we try to make it as impersonal as we can, because some things are just hard or awkward to talk about, and to listen to.

I’m going to tell you guys about the “hard truths” that the beginning of 2013 brought me, and I can’t promise it’ll be a comfortable read, because I know it’s not going to be comfortable to write.

I mentioned before that I quit smoking last year, and I think that’s actually where we need to start. That was kind of the start of my wanting to be healthier.  This is not to say that it was the first time I’d ever tried to lose weight or something. Dear gods, I’ve been trying all my life. I can’t remember I time when I wasn’t being told that boys wouldn’t like me if I didn’t lose weight, by someone or other.

But even last summer, I was doing a lot of thinking about changes I’d like to make, but not doing a lot of DOING anything.  (although, I do think that I learned a lot about loving myself in that time)

And that’s pretty much where I was at the end of January this year when my mom died. I always want to stop people, and I can almost hear the “I’m so sorry.” reflex from some of you. *Smile* I’m sorry too, but that’s not why I’m telling this.

I feel like I should explain, or at least mention that I was not close to my mom, and that there was a good deal of unresolved baggage between us, but that’s not what this is about either.

See, without going into details I don’t want to type, and I promise you, you don’t want to hear, I believe that my mom inadvertently brought about her own death, through a lack of care for both herself and the people who loved her.  And frankly, for several weeks after her memorial, I was pissed off about it. I mean, ragey every time I thought about it. I was like, “Ok, fine, if you can’t give a shit about yourself, lady, but what about the people who love you?!” because my brother was devastated and I felt so damn helpless to do anything for him, and then I discovered that, even after all that we had between us, mom and I, I was kinda devastated too.

Anyway, I went on in this vein for, like I said, several weeks, and in the middle of one of my internal rants about how she should have at least given a damn about her family, a little voice in my head said, “Oh really? How ’bout the phrase, ‘Healer, heal thyself?’ ” (it was actually much much more mean, I’m toning it down. *smile*)

And it was an epiphany.

I thought of what kinds of things my husband would have to go through if I died of some obesity related issue.  I thought about what kind of inconveniences I would put on both him and our kiddo if I lost mobility because I got too fat, or if my joints gave out on me. And I thought about how goddamned mad I was at my mom, and I did not want my kiddo or my husband, or my brothers to be left feeling that kind of mad because I didn’t care enough about THEM, let alone about myself to treat my body well, to strive for health.

And now I’m writing this because I need to be able to remember this when I get complacent like I have been. This isn’t about being thin, this isn’t about looking great, this is about staying alive so I can love the people I love,and *live* the kind of life I want and so that none of them ever have to say, “Goddamn it, Tracie, why couldn’t you have just taken care of yourself?!”

~T

Posted in Daily tally, Uncategorized

Bit of a weekend wrap-up

Weekends are interesting at our house. Always (like everyone, I assume) super busy, but generally full of good times too.

Friday nights, though, I never sleep enough because I always stay up a good deal later than normal, and I get up to head to the local farmer’s market at 8 am sharp. (Best deals then!)  This means that sometimes I spend Saturdays afraid that if I stop for a moment I’ll be asleep. 😀  I try to get a nap in at some point on Saturdays, but it doesn’t always happen.

Sundays, though, are always pretty mellow here-it’s the day we all kind of get ready for the week, so we all kind of take it easy.  It’s also the day I am most likely to not get enough calories-sometimes because I’m worried about The Day of Scale, most times, though, it’s because I have gotten my schedule all out of whack on Friday and Saturday. 🙂

It’s one of the reasons I don’t get all super crazy about keeping track of food on the weekends.

Tonight, though, before I go to bed, I’m going to do some food prep.  I want to try making some things ahead of time-mostly for my lunches to be honest. I will half-ass my lunch in the name of convenience, and that’s silly, because I can take a couple hours on a Sunday evening and get everything situated. So, this week, we see how this goes.

Have a great night folks!